Love, Unexpected
by sienna27
Summary: TV Show Episode Title Challenge - Prompt Set #12 - Title Challenge: A Crowded Romance - One night in a bar has major ramifications for Hotch, Emily and JJ.
1. A Crowded Romance

**Author's Note**: And now for something completely different.

I was trying to finish up Gingerbread and the two Girl offshoot pieces I've been working on the last few weeks (they're all mammoth) and of course instead my brain becomes completely uncooperative and goes off on this unusual tangent. But if you don't go with these things then you get cobwebs up there and you can't focus on anything, so here we go. I'll say that even as I started jotting this down, it still was a surprise to me as it went along.

Again, please remember that this is NOT the usual, but sometimes you have to go a different way ;)

Consider this late season 4, pre-finale of course.

**_UPDATED NOTE 6/15: THEY FIRED AJ COOK AND THEY'RE REDUCING PAGET'S ROLE. HERE'S THE PETITION TO KEEP THEM. PLEASE PASS THE WORD! _**

http:/ www . petitiononline. com/ cmwomen/

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Show**: Three's Company

**Title:** A Crowded Romance

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Love, Unexpected**

"You're _leaving_?"

Hearing the disappointment in JJ's question, Hotch paused as he pulled the two twenties out of his wallet. Then he looked up at her with a little smile as he said apologetically, "yeah, I'm sorry, but I have to get home. It's getting late."

In actuality it was barely nine o'clock but he really shouldn't have gone out at all. He should have realized how awkward this would be. But it was such a shit case that he'd just hadn't wanted to drag that home with him. He thought that if he went out with the team . . . just spent time with the others . . . that he'd begin to decompress and that he'd start to feel a little better.

And he did . . . well, sort of. It wasn't the case that was bothering him now.

Now . . . Hotch eyed Emily across the bar laughing with her boyfriend . . . it was other things. And as much as he'd like to stay . . . with a sigh he dropped the money on the table and pushed back his chair . . . it was definitely time to go.

He'd been ditched.

JJ's smile was tinged with sadness as she reached out to squeeze Hotch's hand, "well, I'm glad you came," she gave him a pointed look, "_everyone's_ glad you came."

She could KILL Emily right now! Hotch had only come out because SHE was going out! JJ wasn't a profiler and even she knew that. She'd seen him watching Em closely when Morgan asked her if she wanted to get a beer . . . Hotch had been waiting to hear Emily's answer before he committed to going.

Then when they get to the bar Emily's frigging BOYFRIEND shows up!

And really . . . JJ thought with disgust . . . he could ONLY have shown up if Em told him where they were going to be. Like that wasn't going to hurt Hotch to have to see them together? Like the ONE time that Hotch goes out with the group in months, Em couldn't have just caught up with Rick later?

Then to add insult to injury she'd disappeared with him not twenty minutes after the group sat down. Hotch had watched her go without any expression before his eyes flicked back down to her beer sitting on the table.

The beer that Hotch had bought it for her. The beer she'd only taken two sips from before she'd gone off with another man.

Really, JJ was amazed that Hotch had stayed as long as he had.

Feeling his expression softening involuntarily, Hotch nodded at JJ as he squeezed her fingers back.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said softly. And then he let go of her hand, waved to the rest of the group . . . ignoring the look that Dave was giving him . . . and headed towards the door at a clip.

Christ, this had been an even worse idea than he'd thought two minutes ago. It had just become clear to him that Dave was starting to pick up on his change in feelings. And if he was becoming an open book to him, then it wouldn't be long before the others noticed as well.

He was beginning to make a fool of himself and he didn't know what the hell to do. He was in love with a woman who was in love with another man.

Not that he blamed her . . . Hotch shot another glance across the room as he headed for the door . . . it's not like he'd done anything to tell her how he felt, that he was ready to move on from his ex-wife. Even after the divorce for so long he'd been carrying a torch for his Haley.

He knew that, hell EVERYONE knew that! But now he was ready to move on . . . unfortunately the woman he was ready to move on with had already moved on with somebody else.

As Hotch slammed through the front door of the pub he rolled his eyes in disgust.

'_Fucking loser.'_

/*/*/*/*/*

JJ watched Hotch go out the front door before she announced flatly to nobody in particular.

"I'll be right back."

She was out of her seat before Will had even turned his head to look at his fiancé.

Dave slowly swirled his glass of scotch as he stared after the blonde stalking across the bar . . . this was going to be ugly.

/*/*/*/*/*

Emily burst out laughing as Rick lost yet _another _ten dollar bet to the bartender . . . really, who bet against the Red Sox when they were on a five game winning streak AT Fenway! God knows she loved him, but sometimes her man was such a chump.

"Honey," she chuckled, leaning up to press a quick kiss to his lips before huffing, "you suck."

"Hey," he scowled, "what game are you watching? The Yankees had two men on . . . "

His indignant retort was cut off by JJ's, "what the FUCK is wrong with you?"

Emily blinked at the completely uncharacteristic . . . TOTALLY uncalled for . . . profanity before she spun around sputtering in astonishment, "whoa JAYJE! What the . . ." she pointed at her chest, "are you talking to ME?"

What the hell was this? She hadn't even SEEN JJ in fifteen minutes so how the hell was she THIS pissed off at her?

JJ's jaw clenched as she stared at Emily. Then her eyes flicked over to her bewildered boyfriend, and then the bartender behind them before she looked back at Emily and bit out a clipped, "yes, you. We need to talk," she jerked her head towards the ladies room off to the left, "now!"

Before she'd walked up, JJ had been fully prepared to tear Emily a new one right in the middle of the bar. But then JJ realized that Rick hadn't had done anything wrong besides exist on the planet.

And that wasn't really a good reason to publicly humiliate the man.

Not only was he basically a nice guy, and a war hero, but also . . . and this was key . . . it wasn't HIS fault that Hotch had just left with a broken heart. Rick wasn't the one that was jerking him around and playing with his feelings.

No . . . JJ shot another nasty glare at a woman she'd once considered her closest friend . . . that was all Emily's doing.

Emily stared at JJ for a moment before she nodded slowly, "okay," she put her beer down on the bar top, "let's go talk."

She didn't have the first clue what was going on right now but it was obvious that JJ was furious about something. About what, Emily couldn't even begin to guess. It wasn't like Jayje to run this hot, so whatever Emily's (alleged) transgression it was definitely best to air this out now before JJ took a swing at her. Because with all due respect to her teammate, in a physical match up, Emily had no doubt at all that she would clean JJ's clock.

And she really didn't want to have to explain a black eyed media liaison to Hotch.

Emily winced just thinking about it . . . oh yeah, Hotch would definitely kill her if she gave even a paper cut to the woman in front of her. So in an effort to keep her boss/best friend from shipping her off to the Great White North, Emily knew that she needed to clear this . . . whatever it was . . . up now before things escalated further.

She turned to Rick with a soft smile, "excuse us for a second," then she shot him a look, "and don't even _think_ about making another bet until I get back," her gaze cooled as her eyes flicked to the bartender, "either of you. Just watch the game and keep your wallets in your pockets."

After she got a sharp nod from each of the men in front of her . . . it was clear from her tone that there would be consequences to ignoring her instructions . . . Emily smacked a quick kiss to Rick's lips before she turned back to JJ and put her arm out.

"After you."

Seeing the stone cold look she was getting Emily tipped her head, "okay," she started walking as she muttered drily, "after me."

Whatever the hell bug was up JJ's ass Emily was starting to wonder if she was going to need forceps to remove it.

JJ was seething as she followed Emily through the crowd and over to the bathrooms in the far corner. It was really taking everything in her not to haul off and punch her "friend" in the back of the head.

How could she behave this way? How could she TREAT him like this? If nothing else they were supposed to be good friends.

After all Emily spent more time with Hotch than anyone else did.

They took their breaks together, they partnered up together, hell they even took Jack to _Busch Gardens_ together! Hotch even had a picture on his desk of the three of them on one of their weekend trips.

So there was no way in hell that Emily . . . somebody with years of behavioral training . . . was completely oblivious to Hotch's feelings for her! And even if she didn't feel the same way . . . JJ knew that you couldn't help who you fell in love with . . . she couldn't believe that Emily could be so callous . . . JJ's heart started to ache as she pictured the look on Hotch's face when he left . . . cruel . . . to somebody who was so good and kind.

As they stepped into the ladies room only one word came into to JJ's head.

Bitch.

Emily turned around to ask JJ what the hell was going on with her. But before she'd even opened her mouth JJ was screaming at her. Asking her how she could do that to him. Telling her that she'd humiliated him in front of the whole group. And then asking if she was being deliberately cruel or if was she so self involved that she couldn't even see what was two inches in front of her face.

Utterly flabbergasted . . . and mortified, there was a line for the stalls and everyone was looking at them . . . Emily just stared at JJ with her mouth open as she listened to a woman she'd thought was a close friend go on and on about what a horrible person she was and how embarrassed she was to know her.

It really hurt.

And the worst thing was . . . Emily _still _didn't have the first clue what in GOD'S name she was talking about! Who was "him"? Who was this person that she'd been so horrible to? Because, not only was that NOT Emily's style . . . and she would have thought that JJ knew that as well . . . she couldn't imagine where the hell this vitriol was coming from now.

It was clear that in her current mood JJ would happily scratch her eyes out and then feed them to her, but that alone was just bizarre. Because Emily had left her laughing and joking with Hotch not fifteen minutes ago.

Oh wait . . . her eyes suddenly widened in understanding . . . HOTCH!

Hotch was "_HIM!"_ He had to be. He was the one that JJ had been talking to when Emily left. So wait . . . her brain started processing all of the things JJ had been saying (screaming) to her . . . did JJ think that she and Hotch were having an _affair_? And what? That she was seeing Rick on the side!

Was she NUTS?

Yes, Hotch was her best friend and her closest confidante . . . but her lover, uh . . . Emily huffed to herself . . . no.

Seeing Emily's expression, JJ's raging temper shot complete through the roof.

"You think this is FUNNY?" She asked in astonishment, "I'm standing here telling you that you're breaking Hotch's heart and you look like you're about to start _laughing_!"

Now her brain was going so far past "bitch" that it wasn't even funny!

"No, JJ," Emily put her hand up as she shook her head, "it's not that, it's just that," she rolled her eyes as she snorted, "me and Hotch, come on, that's ridiculous!"

The sentence had barely left her mouth before JJ's fist was flying up and connecting with her face.

Oh shit . . . JJ froze as the other women immediately scattered out the door . . . what the hell had she just done? Suddenly she'd just been so angry, furious that Emily was being so flippant about Hotch's feelings for her . . . and she'd lost control.

Emily brought her hand up to her mouth and wiped her thumb across her lower lip. When she looked down she saw blood on the pad of her finger.

Her eyes were blazing as they shot back to JJ's.

Though she looked just as shocked as Emily felt, Emily still was so furious that she ended up hissing out the one thing that she was forbidden to say.

"Do you want to know WHY it's ridiculous to think that Hotch and I would be together? Because he's not in love with ME! He's in LOVE with YOU!"

The last word hung in the air between them. Both women were staring at one another wide eyed and horrified. Emily for having lost her temper and disclosing Hotch's secret without his permission. And JJ for one, having hit Emily, and two, suddenly realizing that she didn't have the first clue as to what was going on around her.

Slowly though, Emily's words began to sink into her brain.

"Me," she asked softly as she pointed at her chest, "he's in love with ME?"

As Emily's gaze fell away from hers, JJ had her answer. And in a flash she ran through the whole night again, this time looking at it with new eyes.

Hotch had been welcoming to Rick when he'd shown up . . . he'd shaken his hand and tried to offer him his chair . . . the one next to Emily. But then when Will had arrived he'd only given him a tight smile and a nod.

At the time JJ had assumed that Hotch was putting on a false front with Rick and his tension with Will was his stress over the other man's presence. But now . . . JJ's eyes lost their focus as she thought back, remembering Will putting his arm around her shoulder. And then immediately after Emily turning to Hotch and laughingly wiping something off his cheek with her thumb.

JJ had thought that she was flirting, but now she realized it may have been her attempt to distract him from Will's expression of affection.

Then she started to think about all of her other interactions with Hotch. How he'd always slip a Hershey bar into her pocket when they had a bad case, the tone of voice he used with her, it was soft and low . . . and how he never called her by her by last name like he did all the others.

To him she'd always been JJ, never Jareau.

And suddenly she remembered something that had happened a few months ago. She'd woken up on the plane to find him staring at her. The others were all asleep, Emily slumped against his side covered with his jacket, but his eyes were still on her. And even after she awoke he continued to look at her for almost a minute. She'd been transfixed.

The intensity of his gaze . . . when it was focused solely on her . . . she'd found it to be hypnotic.

Finally though, she had found her voice, and when she opened her mouth to ask him what he was thinking, he'd just shaken his head, given her a sad smile . . . and turned to look out the window.

Oh God . . . her stomach started to hurt . . . for how long had she been completely misinterpreting their relationship? Emily said that he was in love with her.

That was just . . . JJ swallowed over the lump forming in her throat . . . not expected.

Though she was now starting to see that perhaps . . . based on her inexcusable behavior of the past ten minutes . . . she might possibly have some feelings for him too.

And that . . . JJ's eyes started to burn as she stared down at the diamond on her left hand . . . that was more than unexpected.

That was a real problem.

Oh god . . . the tears started to pool . . . SHE was the reason that he looked so sad when he left tonight. And she'd blamed Emily for that.

Emily.

Her gaze snapped up to the other woman's, seeing the swollen lip and the blood trickling down to her friend's chin.

She felt a stab of guilt as she realized that she'd hit Emily for absolutely no good reason at all.

Not only had she hit her . . . JJ watched in shame as Emily shook her head before turning to the sinks . . . she'd sliced her face open with her ring.

Her engagement ring.

As she saw Emily's reflection in the mirror cleaning the blood off of her face, JJ's tears started sliding down her cheeks in thick black rivers.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

After all of the horrible things she had just said . . . and done . . . JJ wasn't sure if Emily would accept her apology.

Emily slowly brought her gaze up, catching JJ's false one in front of her. Seeing the tears and the remorse on her friend's face, Emily's swirl of emotions over what had happened . . . the hurt, the anger, the panic . . . they all faded away.

In their place she found herself being filled by simple despair.

"Yeah," her eyes dropped down to see the water swirling down the drain, "me too."

This hadn't been her secret to tell. Hotch was going to be furious with her . . . Emily's chest started to ache . . . and so embarrassed. A cold pit of fear appeared in her stomach.

He might not forgive her.

Her eyes started to sting right before a paper towel suddenly appeared in front of them. Emily stared at it for a moment before accepting it from JJ's shaking hand. Now filled with fear and regret over what she had done, when Emily turned to look at the woman at her side, only one question was in her head.

'_What the hell were they going to do now?'_

_

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A/N 2: I know, pulled the old switcheroo there! Originally the scene was coming (or I thought it was coming) as JJ saw it. Emily finally had a good boyfriend and Hotch had realized much too late that he was in love with her. But I've written that story before (generally with her getting married) so I started getting annoyed that it was coming to me again. I don't like to repeat myself, and I certainly couldn't think of anything fresh to bring to the H/P relationship in this very abbreviated world that would make it feel special and unique from anything else I've put out there. But then I was staring at my prompts (they're good for inspiration when you can't figure out your story direction) and I saw this one, and it worked perfectly. Beyond just the title though which worked for Em, Rick and Hotch, but the show name gave me the whole idea to do it with JJ, Will, Hotch AND Emily instead. And as I looked over what I'd already written in the opening I felt it would be a very Three's Company'esque approach :) Well, if Three's Company was filled with scenes of heartache and unexpected bloody assaults between Janet and Terry. And of course JJ can only be Terry, the other two blondes were way too dumb._

_And the H/P shipper in me just couldn't NOT write a close relationship between those two as well. But here they are just platonic close friends. Or they were, we'll have to see how Hotch handles the news of what Emily's done._

_The whole story is pretty clear in my head and I think this will be a three shot which I'd like to get up over the next week so I can shake it off and move back to regularly scheduled programming :)_

_I know my core readers are H/P shippers so I'm not sure if I'm losing any of you here by going a different way for one little bitty short story. I totally understand if I do, I am very 'dear God my eyes' over Emily with Reid or Derek because (in my mind) their relationships are very fraternal. But for some reason I've always been okay with Hotch/JJ, I don't know why. Though they always had an obvious bond, I just don't get that brother/sister vibe with them that I do with Em and the boys. Regardless, this little story was insistent on its telling. And the next chapter will better flesh out the dynamics of what was really going on in the bar that night. Ordinarily I do like to follow along thoughts with actions as we go, but in this instance, being too descriptive up front would have ruined the little twist at the end. The only one I could really run with was JJ and her over the top righteous anger on Hotch's behalf. She just couldn't know WHY she was flipping out on his behalf._

_And lastly, random thanks to Arwen Lailaith for posting prompts from that show Life Unexpected. I could not think of a title for this thing and then I saw that thread and this show title matched perfectly. Decent stories never come from just one place ;)_


	2. What Are You Gonna Do?

**Author's Note**: This would have been up earlier tonight except I ended up (against my will) babysitting my niece's puppy, yes that little guy up in the corner. Yes, he's adorable, lucky for him because I don't like dogs and him having an adorable quotient of ten is the only thing that allows me to have any patience with him at all as he barks and drools and chews on everything in sight. Have I mentioned that I'm not a dog person? Nor is my CAT a dog person and I have to keep rewarding him with treats for not EATING the small squirrel like creature that recently invaded his home and keeps trying to "play" with him. Oy.

Moving on from a very exhausting evening, I've decided to make this a prompt story, in that the prompts really have been the impetus for setting the tone here. So I'm going to pick one for each chapter and then make the relevant prompt the chapter title as well.

This picks up a few minutes after chapter one ended.

* * *

**Bonus Challenge #20 - Questions**

Show: Men of a Certain Age

Title Challenge: What Are You Gonna Do with the Rest of Your Life?

* * *

JJ stumbled out of the ladies room in a daze.

Emily's announcement about Hotch's feelings for her had thrown JJ's world into complete disarray. And as she leaned back against the wall on the far side of the bar, she tried tune out the noise around her so she could think. She needed to figure out what the hell she was going to say to Will when she went back to the table.

He was her fiancé, the father of her child, and right now he was the last person on the planet that she wanted to see.

But as much as she longed to, she didn't see how it was possible to just walk out the door without speaking to him. Under other circumstances she could have asked Emily to give him a message, tell him that she wasn't feeling well and that she had gone home. But after the accusations she'd just hurled, not to mention . . . JJ winced as she thought back . . . splitting Emily's lip, the imposition of making such a request had been beyond her.

And now the opportunity had passed her by anyway, because JJ had no idea where Emily had gone. After she'd cleaned up her face, the other woman had murmured that she had to go and then she'd rushed out without another word.

Though she could still be somewhere in the bar, JJ sincerely doubted it. Because it was clear that Emily was perhaps even more upset about the secret that she'd disclosed than JJ herself was.

And that was saying something.

Ironically, again under other circumstances JJ would be specifically seeking Emily out right now for advice, asking her what she should do.

But that option was also beyond her.

So now JJ was completely alone, and her world as she'd known it when she'd woken up that morning was now in a tailspin. Every important relationship in her life was in jeopardy.

Emily was her best friend, Hotch was her . . . well . . . JJ bit her lip . . . his title was now undefined. He was her boss and he was her friend and maybe . . . her eyes started to sting again . . . just maybe he was her something more.

The something more is what she needed to define.

But there was no doubt that at the very least their working relationship . . . and most likely their friendship as well . . . would be destroyed if she handled this situation badly.

Actually as she thought about it, her relationships with everyone on the team would be destroyed if she handled this situation badly. If she hurt Hotch, embarrassed him by disclosing this secret, or if they became involved and it didn't work out, it would have a ripple effect throughout their group.

People would have to choose sides.

And then of course there was Will . . . she swallowed the lump in her throat . . . and Henry. She loved Will, she did . . . but how much? If she was even asking herself the question did that mean that she clearly didn't love him enough? Because you would think that if he was her meant to be guy, that there would be no doubts.

But perhaps that was only in the movies.

Perhaps in real life there were always doubts, perhaps you always wondered if the person lying next to you was the person that you were supposed to be with.

If he was the one.

These were questions that JJ hadn't allowed herself to ask before. They didn't seem to serve any purpose other than to cause pain and doubt. But now, regardless of her efforts to keep her eyes forward and simply live a happy life, she was filled with pain and doubt. So these questions that she couldn't voice before . . . they needed to have answers.

But she was afraid of what she would discover.

What if she decided that Will wasn't the one? That they really had only stayed together as long as they had because of Henry. That if not for that condom breaking, that their relationship would have petered out and died long ago.

JJ scrubbed her hand across her mouth . . . and if she chose a different path, a life without the father of her child, what would become of their family unit? If she left Will for Hotch, could she remain friends with Will? And if she couldn't, could they still raise their son as a loving, happy boy whose parents despised each other?

Wait . . . she winced and shook her head . . . wait, she was getting way ahead of herself. This wasn't the place to be making decisions. She wasn't leaving anyone for anyone right now. The first thing she needed to do was get out of this bar and go home and think about her life. Really think about it. She was going to have to decide if she was truly happy with Will . . . she felt an ache in her chest . . . or if she would be happier still if there was a different head lying on the pillow next to hers.

And then once she'd decided the answers to those questions, then she would decide what she was going to do about the rest of it.

One thing was for sure though . . . the tears began to pool as she looked across the bar . . . she definitely couldn't see Will right now. Not only did she physically look like hell but her mind was racing, and honestly all she could think about was Hotch.

If that pillow was maybe meant for him.

A tear slipped down her cheek . . . so there was no way that she was going to be able to slap on a happy face and kiss Will goodbye as she told him to stay, that she'd see him at home later.

Because honestly, she wasn't sure if she would see him at home later.

She was going to try like hell to _avoid_ seeing him or talking to him until at least tomorrow night. She sniffled . . . so she wanted to make sure that she was asleep . . . or at least feigning sleep . . . by the time he climbed into bed tonight. And then hopefully she'd be up and out of the house before he woke in the morning.

As JJ turned and headed towards the back fire exit, her conscience piped up to remind her that if she was having these doubts at all . . . that if she was even _considering_ leaving him . . . then perhaps Will had a right to know.

That it would be unspeakably cruel to just suddenly take his child and leave with no warning at all.

For a moment she stopped with her hand on the red door, torn between following her conscience and following her own mind. After a moment JJ decided that she was tired of always thinking of everyone else. That for tonight she just wanted to be selfish and think only about herself.

What she wanted out of her life.

Tomorrow she would think of Will and Henry and all the rest of them. But tonight . . . she slipped out the door and stepped into the warm spring air . . . she was thinking about Jennifer Marie Jareau and nobody else.

It was about time.

Though she was confident in her decision to go, once outside JJ started to feel a bit panicky. Part of her did know that what she was doing was wrong . . . leaving him this way without a word . . . but she knew that she couldn't turn back now.

She just needed to be alone.

So she pushed aside those lingering feelings of guilt and hurried her footsteps, crossing around the poorly lit back parking lot, into the side one and heading directly down to the busy street corner before she ran into anyone she knew.

Fortunately it was a Thursday night and not a Friday, so she was able to flag down only the second cab that came around the corner. For some reason she was slightly breathless as she jumped inside, feeling like a prisoner that had just escaped from a terrible punishment.

As soon as that thought came to her, JJ immediately flashed on Will's handsome face . . . and she was instantly filled with shame. He wasn't a punishment, he was a good man who loved her.

And no matter what happened in the future, she needed to remember that was one thing that had always been true. So after she'd given her address to the driver, and the dingy white cab was moving again, JJ slipped her phone from her pocket and typed a quick message to him.

'_Had a headache and went out for some air, decided to just grab a cab home. You stay and have a good time.'_

And then she stopped . . . her finger hovering over the send button . . . it was the first time in almost a year that she hadn't automatically signed a message to him _'Love J._'

Yes . . . no . . . yes . . . no.

No.

She let her finger fall.

As she slipped the phone back into her pocket, JJ's gaze shifted out the window. She was watching the lights of the city flash by as her phone began to ring.

She ignored it.

/*/*/*/*/*/*/

Emily watched the little green numbers flip over from 9:52 to 9:53. She'd been sitting in her car for the last twenty minutes staring at the front door of Hotch's apartment building.

She couldn't stop crying.

She knew that she had to go talk to Hotch, and she had to do it tonight before JJ did.

_If_ JJ did.

God knows what she was going to do with that bombshell Emily had dropped on her. But that didn't matter, well . . . she sniffled . . . it did _matter_ . . . it mattered a lot . . . but not as it related to Emily's duty to the man she considered her closest friend.

She'd already betrayed his trust, and there was no way that she'd be able to look him in the eye tomorrow if she didn't confess to him what she'd done. Most people would probably keep their mouths shut and wait to see what happened. If JJ was even going to do anything with this information.

But Emily couldn't do that.

Her relationship with Hotch was much too important to her to risk compounding one betrayal with another. And there was no doubt in her mind that Hotch would see her letting him walk around like a fool not knowing that JJ knew his secret, as a betrayal perhaps even worse than the first one.

Because the first one he would hopefully forgive, after all, it was an accident. Something blurted out in anger in the heat of the moment. But if Emily kept her mouth shut now, that would be a deliberate . . . _cowardly_ . . . choice on her part to try to avoid the fallout from her actions.

And Hotch would never forgive that.

With that reality crystallized in her mind, Emily sniffled as she wiped her hand across her face. Then she unlocked her car door and stepped out into the quiet street.

The air was balmy, with just a hint of the humidity that would stay with them through to the fall. She took two deep shuddering breaths as she ran her fingers under her eyes trying to wipe away the smears from her runny mascara.

Between the crying in the car and JJ slugging her in the face, there was no doubt that she looked a fright, but that was hardly a concern at the moment. If anything as Emily started towards Hotch's apartment building she selfishly thought that perhaps it would help in pleading her case to him.

Maybe he'd take pity.

After all . . . she pulled the front door open and stepped into the foyer . . . at least there was some physical evidence of the hellish night that she'd had so far.

Hearing the front door slam shut behind her, Emily flinched, and then her boots began to clatter and echo as she continued slowly down the empty corridor heading towards Hotch's apartment at the far end of the building.

It was fortunate that nobody else was around right now. It's not like she wasn't a familiar face around his building. And if she showed up here tonight looking like she'd just been smacked around, people were going to talk.

Not that she cared about her reputation, God knows she just didn't want to cause any other problems for him. And as she finally reached Hotch's door, Emily stopped. Pausing with her hand in the air for one moment longer as she sent up a little prayer that things would be all right, that he would forgive her. Then she took another breath . . . and let her fist fall.

There were two soft raps before she pulled her arm back.

It fell limply at her side.

And as she heard Hotch's footsteps creaking on the other side of the door, Emily bit down hard on her already swollen lip.

'_Please God, let me fix this.'_

* * *

_A/N 2: In other worlds I have Hotch in other apartments, but for purposes here, I decided to stick him in the canon one on the first floor. So you have something tangible there to picture in your head. _

_It was kind of interesting writing JJ from canon, she's a supporting player in Girl so I've not had to spend that much time in her head to really consider her life. And I never had a problem with Will in principle, I know lots of people write him out in all kinds of ways, up to and including him being a complete deadbeat jerk. To each his own :) but as I was trying to place MYSELF in that situation, I just figured that it was entirely possible that maybe they really weren't that much in love. Maybe they would have broken up long ago if not for her getting pregnant. And seeing it in that version, where they really did subconsciously get together because of the baby, then maybe JJ was so caught up in trying to make her life be what it appeared to be from the outside, that she never really stopped to consider whether or not she was truly happy with the man that she'd chosen to be with. So this way I can break them up (maybe) without making Will a complete douche. _

_Originally this chapter did follow through further with Hotch opening the door, but then I decided to cut it here because that scene is really a totally different tone and feel than the completely introspective pieces with the women. Fortunately though, because I did cut a scene that was almost ready to post anyway, the next chapter is mostly done. I don't want this to go on too much longer, perhaps two more chapters. Maybe three, depends on how I handle the in between. I'm trying to throw a bunch of story balls up in the air right now to get some momentum going on most of the stuff that's been stagnant, so I won't be back here until later next week. I'd like to get at least three more stories updated before I hit this one again._

_Hopefully if you liked the first chapter, you're still enjoying this. Like I said, it is interesting writing JJ's life for a change. _


	3. You Know That I Love You, Don't You?

**Author's Note:** As was stated by Emily earlier in the story, she and Hotch are "best friends" in this world. Clearly all of you can visualize such a relationship in principle, but if you're familiar with the Girl'verse, you can picture their physical interactions over the summer months as being the same depth of attachment and affection here, minus the romantic undertones of course.

This one picks up immediately from the last. And again, due credit to the prompt helping to set the tone here. Kavi and I are planning a One Tree Hill bonus sometime soon simply because they do have great titles.

**

* * *

Bonus Challenge #20 - Questions**

Show: One Tree Hill

Title Challenge: You Know I Love You, Don't You?

* * *

Emily heard the lock turn and then Hotch's face appeared. She could tell from the look of annoyance that he was ready to give her an earful for leaving him alone at the table with JJ.

But then she saw his expression morph to one of surprise and concern as he reached out to touch her cheek.

"What happened?" Hotch asked worriedly as he gently cupped Emily's jaw. "Are you okay?"

Her lip was split and swollen and it was clear that she'd been crying.

"Um," Emily's eyes began to water again as they fell away from his and down to the floor, "no, not really. That's why I'm here. May I come in please?"

"Of course," he shook his head as his hand fell from her cheek and he took her fingers, "I'm sorry," he tugged her into the apartment, "come tell me what happened."

After he did a quick check of the hall, Hotch quietly closed the door and set the deadbolt again. When he turned back to Emily she was still staring down at the floor, and that's when he started to get a cold flutter in his stomach. Terrified that perhaps she'd been attacked.

Though he didn't yet know what had happened, Hotch felt a bout of protectiveness come over him. So he let go of Emily's fingers and moved his arm up and around her shoulders instead. Then he pulled her against his side and kissed her temple.

"Come on," he murmured softly as he started walking her to the couch, "let's go sit down."

For the past forty-five minutes he'd been cursing Emily's name, her and her little attempts to play matchmaker with him and JJ. After she'd PROMISED him that if he went out tonight she'd act as buffer, twenty minutes after they got there she gave Rick a look and then the two of them had scurried across the bar leaving him alone with JJ.

Hotch had wanted to kill her.

As though him sitting and talking to the woman he loved . . . with her fiancé FOUR inches away(!) . . . was somehow going to cause her to have this huge lightning bolt revelation that she should drop her whole life and run away with him.

Metaphorically speaking of course.

And as expected, as soon as Emily was gone, the easy light hearted conversation had gone as well. It had immediately become so painful talking to JJ, having her sitting right there with him as she smiled and laughed, yet he'd been unable to touch her or tell her how he felt . . . he'd just had to leave.

But his irritation at Emily immediately vanished when he saw that she was hurt. Though their relationship was not romantic in nature, he loved her like family and for all intents she was technically . . . for the foreseeable future . . . the only woman in his life. And seeing her hurt was physically upsetting to him.

Hotch's jaw twitched as they sat down . . . so whoever had done this to her was going to pay for it.

As they sat down on the couch Emily's eyes started to well with fresh tears . . . he was being so nice. But she knew him as well as she knew herself. And she knew that as soon as she told him what she had done, he was going to pull away from her. He would stop being sweet and taking care of her and he'd start yelling. Or worse . . .

Not yelling.

When Hotch was deadly quiet that's when he was the most upset . . . the most angry.

God please . . . Emily begged as she pulled her leg up under her . . . _please_ let him yell.

"Okay," she took a breath as she turned to face him, her voice hoarse and watery, "I need to tell you something and I need you to listen to me okay, please try to listen to the whole story before you do anything, all right?"

Hotch's eyes were wide with worry and tension as he squeezed her hand.

"Okay."

Emily took another deep breath, but still her voice caught on the first words.

"I fucked up, I fucked up _really_ badly and you're going to be so angry with me, but please Hotch," she reached out and touched his cheek, "you know how important you are to me," her voice cracked as the first tear slid down her face, "you're my best friend and you know that I would NEVER purposely do anything to hurt you."

Christ . . . she slowly inhaled . . . this was turning out to be so much more painful than she'd thought it was going to be. And she hadn't even gotten to his reaction yet!

"Emily," Hotch took a shallow breath as he squeezed her hand, "you're scaring the shit out of me. Now _please,_" he pleaded, "please just tell me what happened. What did you do? And who hit you?"

Oh Christ . . . a terrible thought came to him . . . he hoped she didn't kill somebody. That was a major fuckup and something he'd be pretty "upset" about. Actually her killing someone was about the only plausible reason he could come up with that would match her appearance and her words. Beyond that he couldn't imagine her doing anything so awful that she'd be this terrified of his reaction.

Realizing that she'd prepared him as much as she could, Emily's hand fell away from Hotch's cheek as the tears started spilling over.

"After you left," she started slowly, hoping that she could find just the right tone to keep his temper in check long enough to get everything out, "JJ came over and pulled me into the bathroom. She was furious, screaming at me, calling me these terrible names," she shook her head, "and saying these awful, awful things."

Seeing Hotch's look of confusion Emily realized that she needed to explain better.

"You see," she swallowed, "she was upset because she thought that you had left because of me. That you and I were involved somehow and that I was playing with your feelings and hurting you with Rick."

Watching him huff slightly at the idea of such a thing, Emily nodded, "I know, it seems silly to us, but," her voice caught, "at first I didn't understand what she was talking about. That she meant you. She just kept saying 'him' and then I figured out that she meant you. And, I um," she sniffled, "I tried to explain that she was totally off base, that you and I weren't involved like that. And I just, I barely got the words out and then she just hauled off and punched me in the face."

Hotch blinked, "what? _JJ_ hit you?"

What the _fuck_?

Seeing Hotch's look of shock, Emily nodded, "yeah," her voice faded, "JJ hit me." Her gaze shifted over his shoulder as she continued softly, "and her ring cut my lip and it was bleeding . . . and then I got so mad and I did something I shouldn't have done."

That God damn diamond. Of course she'd been furious at simply being struck, but Emily was positive that the blood was what put her over the edge.

The blood was the reason her entire relationship with Hotch was in jeopardy.

And then, before she could finish the rest of the story, Emily felt his fingertips ghost over the corner of her mouth. She froze for a moment before she heard him say softly.

"Emily, if you've been so worried because you think I'm going to be angry because you hit JJ back, it's okay." She brought her eyes back to his, and he tipped his head, "I mean it's not okay," he shook his head, "none of this okay, but," he gave her a sad smile, "I'm certainly not upset with you. I understand losing your temper in a moment like that. It was a mistake." He rolled his eyes, "if Rossi hit me I'm sure I'd hit him back too," his fingers glided over her jaw again.

"And we really need to put some ice on this or there's no way you'll be able to cover it up tomorrow."

Well, that explained why she was so worried about her reaction. Yes, ordinarily he would be pretty upset with Emily if she'd hauled off and attacked JJ for no reason. But if they gave each other matching bruises over some ridiculous misunderstanding then he wasn't going to pick a side. Honestly, he hoped he never would be put into a situation where he'd have to pick a side.

How do you choose between two women that you love?

And Emily knew then that he thought that _was_ the story. That she and JJ had a huge misunderstanding and then a big fight and that she had come to see him to tell him what had happened.

Her heart ached . . . if only that was the story.

If only she had just hauled off and given JJ a black eye and stormed out of the bathroom. Then she could let Hotch get the ice pack and she could sit on the couch with him and cry on his shoulder about her fight with JJ and he would kiss her forehead and tell her that it would be okay. That they would apologize to each other tomorrow and it would be over.

But none of those things were going to happen.

Because there was more.

Emily bit back the sob that started to bubble up, and then a second later she felt Hotch's hand fall away as he started to stand up.

"Wait," she grabbed his fingers, "that's not what happened . . . that's not why I'm here." His brow immediately wrinkled in confusion as he looked down at her, "what do you mean?"

And she plunged into the rest of it.

"After she hit me, I didn't hit her back. I," she swallowed, "I looked down and saw the blood on my hand and I was just . . ." she sucked in a breath, "filled with rage," her eyes slid away from his again, "the things she'd said to me were so vicious and I was so humiliated because all these people were around, and then there was this blood, on me," her eyes snapped back up to his, "and I just wanted to hurt her too. To make her realize how rotten and unfair she'd been to me, so I told her that I wasn't the reason that you left. That you weren't in love with me," her voice faded to a whisper, "that you were in love with her."

There, it was out . . . she bit the inside of her cheek . . . and now for the fallout.

Hotch froze for a second as her words began to sink in, and then he felt his stomach drop and blood turn to ice.

"You did what?" He whispered back in disbelief.

She couldn't have. She wouldn't do that to him. She wouldn't betray his confidence like that.

She couldn't.

"I told JJ that you're in love with her," Emily moaned.

Or maybe she could.

And then he saw the tears streaming down her face as she began to sob, "I'm so sorry Aaron! I didn't mean to do it, it just came out and I couldn't take it back!"

Though he understood the words coming out of her mouth . . . that she was trying to apologize . . . at that moment it meant nothing to him. Her words, her apologies, their relationship, it was all nothing. All he could think was that she had betrayed him. That she had humiliated him.

And he was filled with rage.

"What the FUCK Emily!" He hissed as he yanked his hand away from hers, "how could you DO that to me? I trusted you!"

Unable to stand being that close to her, he stood up and began pacing in front of the couch. His fists were clenched to white knuckles and he was flooded with a swirl of bitter ugly feelings that he'd never felt towards Emily before. And when his eyes snapped back down to hers . . . for just a moment . . . he hated her.

It was for just a second, but apparently Emily saw it too, because her face contorted in grief right before she brought her hands to her mouth and began to sob uncontrollably.

And through her muffled cries he could only make out two words.

"Aaron, _please!_"

A stab of pain pierced his anger . . . and then he remembered her words to him when she first walked in the door.

That she'd never deliberately hurt him.

Still though . . . he crossed the room and went out into the hall . . . even seeing how upset she was, he couldn't deny that he was still royally pissed off at her. And he was going to stay royally pissed for at least a few minutes longer. So he tried to ignore her heartbroken sobs from the other room as he leaned his head against the wall, closed his eyes and began to count down from one hundred.

And after he did that he could feel his anger slowly getting under control. And then he made himself remember all of the reasons that he loved Emily. All of the reasons that they'd become friends. All of the times that she'd cheered him up when he was down, all of the times she'd made him laugh on days when nothing was funny. And when that bitterness and rage started to be replaced by other things, he remembered her baring her soul to him, crying on his shoulder after a fight with her mother, or a boyfriend, or just a terrible case.

She'd entrusted him with so many of her secrets, and she trusted him to keep her confidences. That trust had always gone both ways and he knew that she wouldn't betray him deliberately.

The last of his anger melted away . . . it was an accident. She'd lost her temper and said something in the heat of a charged moment that she would never say otherwise.

Once both his head and his heart had accepted the truth of that, Hotch opened his eyes and slowly exhaled.

Then he checked his watch.

He'd been gone from the living room for almost five minutes. That's when he noticed the silence in the apartment.

No more sobbing.

He turned around and stepped back inside, his eyes widening in alarm when he saw that Emily was gone.

Shit.

The last emotion she'd seen from him had been pure hatred . . . and then he'd left.

SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!

Over and over he cursed in his head as he ran towards the door, yanking it open and racing down the hall.

Through the glass of the front alcove, he saw her outside, still sobbing as she tried to dig her keys out of her bag.

Seeing her that way . . . looking so lost and alone dissolved any lingering irritation he might have otherwise felt towards her. After all, just because you accept that something was an accident, didn't mean that you couldn't still be upset.

But even that was gone now as he stood in the open doorway and called her name softly.

"Emily."

Slowly she lifted her head and as she looked at him Hotch's own eyes began to sting as he saw her standing under the streetlight. Her eyes were completely swollen from crying, and the only makeup left on her face was the smear of mascara running this way and that.

She looked like somebody had broken her heart.

And then he realized that he was the somebody that had done that. Feeling a stab in his own heart, he hurried down the path, and ran up to her on the street.

As Hotch stopped in front of her, Emily froze, feeling the warring emotions of fear and hope filling her heart. Though his tone had been soft when he called her name, part of her was terrified that he was there to tell her off completely, that he couldn't forgive her and their friendship was over.

But then he reached out and touched her cheek again. And as her breath caught, he whispered. "We still need to put ice on your lip."

Then their eyes were locked for a moment before he stepped forward.

"Come here," he said softly as he pulled her to his chest. And feeling the tears begin soaking into his shirt, Hotch closed his eyes and rested his chin on her head.

"Don't cry Em," he murmured, "it's all right," he kissed the top of her head as he rubbed his hand down her back, "I know you didn't do it on purpose."

"I didn't," she sobbed in relief as her arms wrapped around his chest, "you know I didn't! I would never . . . I was just so angry and I wanted to hurt her for hurting me and then I went too far, and I couldn't take it back." she tipped her head back to look at him, "you forgive me?"

"Yeah," he gave her a sad smile as he brushed the hair back that was sticking to her wet cheek, "I forgive you." His gaze shifted up and over her head, taking in the desolate street around them. Then he looked back down at her.

"Is Rick expecting you?"

"No," she sniffled as she wiped her across her face for the thousandth time, "no, I told him that I needed to see you and that I'd talk to him tomorrow."

"Okay then," he slipped his arm around her shoulder, pulled her against his side as he started walking back to the door, "let's go fix your face, and then," he sighed.

"We'll talk."

_

* * *

_

_A/N 2: Given the betrayal is the more complicated emotional drama here I was relieved that was an H/P situation because that's a relationship I'm comfortable writing. I'm already out of my comfort zone with a romance with JJ/Hotch so it was definitely easier writing this scene for a "couple" I know better. _

_Again, another two or three chapters, next one in in perhaps a week or so. Hope you're still enjoying. _


	4. Because It Is Bitter, And Because It Is

**Author's Note**: This was more done than I'd realized. Sometimes I do a full draft of a scene, walk away from it when something shiny catches my attention and then I'm all surprised when I go back again. Yes, easily tricked by my own handiwork :)

This picks up a few hours after the last chapter. Still at Hotch's apartment, and still using prompts for tone and title. And I'm so pleased I'm on a little roll using the Story Title Forum. If you've used the TV Titles but haven't checked out Story Titles yet, please do so. There are probably about 50 or so prompts in there now.

**

* * *

Story Title Prompt Set #3**

Author: Joyce Carol Oats

Title Challenge: Because It Is Bitter, And Because It Is My Heart

* * *

Hotch looked down at Emily curled up in a ball on the end of his bed. His expression softened as he brushed her hair back from her cheek . . . she was fast asleep.

By the time they'd cleaned up her face and finished talking it had been well after midnight, too late for Hotch to feel comfortable letting her drive home. So though the plan had been for her to sleep over, the plan _wasn't_ for her to collapse unconscious on top of his covers. All the more reason he was grateful for insisting she stay over.

She could have fallen asleep while driving.

Ten minutes ago she'd left him to go change into a pair of his pajamas, and given the oversized Harvard t-shirt she was wearing and the pair of grey sweatpants dangling off one foot, it was clear that she'd passed out before she'd finished. So now she was lying half naked on the foot of his bed with a trickle of drool running onto his comforter.

A sad smile touched his lips as he looked down at her lying there. She was so vulnerable and trusting of him . . . this was his Emily. This was his best friend. And this was why he could never stay angry with her, never cut her out of his life.

He couldn't imagine going back to navigating his turns around the planet without her presence and counsel. She was just too important to him. Too important to Jack.

Too . . . he rubbed his hand across his mouth . . . well, he didn't know what the other word was.

But whatever it was, it was why he loved her.

A soft sigh passed his lips as he stooped down to pick up her clothes from where she'd dropped them on the floor. . . and if only _she_ was the one that he was IN love with then his life would be so much easier.

Or at least it seemed that way.

But he knew from experience that love was always messy, always hard . . . always painful. His eyes fell shut for a moment as he thought back on his final months with Haley . . . and sometimes that pain just wasn't worth it.

Because sometimes as much as you struggle, and as hard as you try . . . you just can't make love work.

As soon as those words came to him, Hotch realized just how bitter that sounded . . . and he winced.

Maybe that wasn't really the way it was. Maybe that was just his life . . . his experiences. Perhaps there were actually people out there living easy, content lives where everyone found their soul mate and nobody fought and everything was wonderful.

Perhaps he was the anomaly.

Hotch's eyes drifted back over to the woman sprawled across his bed . . . perhaps.

After all, Emily . . . a wonderful woman who had been a bum magnet since long before he'd met her . . . finally seemed to have found the perfect guy that Hotch had always known that she deserved.

Perhaps Rick wasn't perfect really . . . but he was perfect for her. And he was good to her, and they were happy together. It had only been five months but Hotch knew that things were getting serious.

Next week she was planning on giving him a key.

By Emily standards of commitment that was huge. Hotch himself already had a key but . . . another wave of bitterness lapped against his soul . . . that was different.

He was just . . . the friend.

And though he was trying so hard to be happy for Emily, he couldn't deny that he was also saddened . . . and perhaps if he was honest with himself, a little angry . . . at the reality that he wasn't going to be her number one guy anymore. Somebody else would be looking after her and drying her tears and giving her advice. She wouldn't need him in the same way that she had before. She was moving on and he was still standing still.

Standing still and watching the world go by.

His eyes started to burn . . . but how long could he exist like that? The third wheel . . . his teeth ground together as he started hanging up Emily's clothes . . . the _fifth_ wheel. It didn't matter the numerical combination, the reality was that for twenty years he had been a part of a committed couple . . . and now he was regularly the odd man out. He was alone.

It was a terrible way to live.

It was no way to live.

When they came into his apartment tonight he and Emily had talked about what had happened. About JJ's reaction, about what could come next.

About what . . . if anything . . . he should do.

And though Emily was adamant that he should say something to her now, just put it all out there, as far as Hotch was concerned . . . nothing had changed.

Yes, his closely guarded secret had been blurted out in a fit of anger, but just because JJ was now _aware_ that he had feelings for her, that didn't mean that some magic wand had been waved.

It didn't mean that everything was going to be different.

The woman that he had fallen for was in a long term relationship. She had a child with this man. She was ENGAGED to this man! And as much as it pained Hotch to admit it, this man was a good man. Will deserved her. And if she was happy with him . . . _really_ happy . . . Hotch had no right to burden her with his wants and needs. That would be selfish.

And he loved her too much to be selfish.

So he would wait, wait and see if she wanted to talk to him. And even if she _didn't_ want to talk to him, if he thought that she was now uncomfortable around him . . . if he thought that things had changed for the worse . . . then he knew that he was going to have to approach to her.

He was going to have to pull her aside one night after work and have a horrendously awkward conversation. One where he would possibly have to lie through his teeth and tell her that Emily had told him what had happened, but that she had been mistaken in her words. That he had once mentioned that he loved her as a friend and that Emily had misunderstood.

That there was nothing more to it than that.

It would kill him to do it , to deny his feelings and perhaps lose his one chance, but if that's what he had to do to ensure her happiness, then . . . he sighed as he began stripping off his own clothes . . . that's what would be done.

JJ's happiness was paramount . . . his was incidental.

And that's the way it would always be.

/*/*/*/*/*/

After he'd finished changing, Hotch took the dangling sweatpants off of Emily's foot and folded them back up again.

She could sleep in just the shirt. He'd seen her bare legs before and the world hadn't ended.

Once the bedroom was picked up, he went out and checked the door and the windows again. Sometimes he wondered if his compulsive obsession to check the locks was truly normal given the nature of his work, or if it was simply another byproduct of his fucked up psyche.

Perhaps his musings didn't matter . . . either way the locks still needed to be checked.

With a weary sigh at the mess that was his life, Hotch picked up the two matching cell phones and the two matching revolvers that were sitting on the coffee table. Then he put on the small lamp by the window, and went back down to his bedroom. He placed the phones and guns on the nightstand before moving to the end of the bed, leaning down and gently rubbing Emily's shoulder.

"Emily," he whispered in the semi-darkness, "I need you to wake up for a minute. You're on top of the blankets."

It took a second, but then he saw her eyes pop open and she stared up at him in confusion.

"The blankets," he repeatedly softly as he squeezed her shoulder, "you have to get up."

"Mmm, K," she murmured unintelligibly before wiping the drool off her mouth. Then she took a breath and rolled over, dropping her bare feet to the rug. Once she was standing she saw Hotch move to turn down the blankets. When he was done she immediately climbed back onto his bed again, prepared to go right back to sleep. But then she saw him hesitate for a moment before he reached down and picked up the pillow next to her. Her brow wrinkled as she looked up at him in sleepy confusion.

"What are you doing?" She asked on a yawn as she rubbed her eye.

"Uh," Hotch's gaze shifted away from hers, "I was just thinking that maybe it would be better if we uh, didn't . . ." his eyes snapped back to hers, "well, you're in a real relationship now and I it occurs to me that Rick probably wouldn't appreciate our sleeping arrangements," he tucked the pillow under his arm, "so I'll go back to the couch."

This was just one more thing that he'd known was going to have to change eventually. And it was just one more thing that pissed him off.

But then he saw Emily shake her head dismissively before she reached out and took the pillow from under his arm.

"Don't be ridiculous," she yawned again as she dropped the pillow back on the bed and patted the mattress, "it's not Rick's business who I sleep with."

It took Emily's sleep fogged brain took a second to process her choice of words, but when she did, she rolled her eyes as she flopped back on her own pillow.

"I mean, of course it's his business if I'm having sex with somebody, but my sleeping with YOU is not his business."

Though the relationship with Rick was still relatively new, she did love him . . . but she still loved Hotch more.

Perhaps someday those ratios would change, but even if they did, she wasn't going to push her best friend aside for her boyfriend.

As they say, men come and go, but . . . she gave Hotch a soft smile as he reluctantly climbed into bed next to her . . . the best friend is forever. Just because the best friend was usually female didn't change one smidgen of the truth of that statement.

Especially tonight when her best friend needed her more than her boyfriend did.

And though she knew that Rick wasn't jealous of her relationship with Hotch . . . if he had been he wouldn't have lasted a week . . . and he knew that she still sometimes slept over his apartment, she had never mentioned _where_ she slept. She was sure that he had assumed it was Jack's room, after all that was the logical assumption, but she'd never bothered to clarify that point.

It seemed a needless argument.

It was her life and she would make her own decisions. Rick wasn't her husband or her fiancé, or even a live in partner. He was someone new.

And she already had someone old.

And she liked sleeping with Hotch, and there was nothing sexual in their relationship, so she saw no reason for that to have to change. Especially given that if she was sleeping in his bed then something bad had happened.

Usually something really bad.

A case or a break up or a death. And curling up next to him was a comfort.

To both of them.

With that thought in mind, as soon as he'd pulled up the covers and turned out the light, she reached over and tentatively touched his arm.

"You're sure that you're not still mad at me, right?" she whispered in the dark. "Not even a little bit?"

"No," Hotch laced Emily's fingers through his as he whispered back, "no Emily, I promise that I'm not angry with you, not anymore."

They were both quiet for a moment, Emily lying there listening to his soft breath before she slid over and curled up against his side. And then she pressed her lips to his ear and whispered.

"I promise Aaron, everything will work out."

Emily wouldn't make a promise to him like that unless she was sure that it was one that would be kept. She would never wish any pain on him. But she'd seen the look on JJ's face when she'd told her that Hotch was in love with her. And God knows she'd heard the hatred in JJ's voice when she thought that Emily was the one that was hurting him.

There was no doubt in Emily's mind . . . JJ was as much in love with Hotch as he was with her.

It might have been a bit of a surprise to her tonight when she'd realized it, but that didn't change the fact that Emily knew that it was true. And she wouldn't be stupid, she wouldn't let him slip away.

She just wouldn't.

Hearing Emily's words of support, Hotch didn't feel the comfort that that he knew was intended . . . he just felt panic and despair. What if she was wrong? What if things didn't work out?

What if Emily moved on with Rick, and JJ moved on with Will and he really did end up completely alone? Feeling Emily press her lips to his cheek, Hotch's eyes started to sting . . . what would he do then?

Knowing that he was beginning to grieve losses that hadn't yet occurred, Hotch blinked and took a breath . . . if those things happened then there would be all the time in the world to lie here in the dark and feel sorry for himself.

Right now he still had someone . . . the one woman in his life.

So he slipped his arm around Emily's shoulders, tucking her against his side. Then he whispered against her hair.

"We'll see Em," he pressed a kiss to her temple, "we'll see."

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_A/N 2: I do love writing this story :) Again, getting to explore different facets of relationships, different types and levels of love and commitment. Balancing the love for old friends against the attachments of new romantic partners. How much of yourself are you expected to change to make the new relationships work? How do you rank these people in your life? Depending on how this all turns out, I might write a follow up addressing those difficulties and the stress they can cause as the new relationships begin to take on a sense of permanence. Clearly if you're in love with somebody and you're trying to build a life together, there is a point where you cross a line where you have to rank that person's feelings first. You can't tell your fiancé or your spouse that it's none of that person's business who you sleep with. Clearly it IS that person's business. So if Emily and Rick got serious, and Hotch got together with JJ, I see potential for additional angst in a second story. I've got plenty of happy stories out there. Angsty love is much more fun to write :) _

_I know the sequence of how this ends now (I've picked my last two prompts) though it's not yet written. I've found these chapters are pretty easy to pull together though, they have a nice smooth rhythm to them that flows pretty easily. So it'll get wrapped up in October though._

_Next update will be Aaron & Emily, and that's in a couple of days._


	5. Life As We Knew It

**Author's Note**: Hey howdy, folks. Long time no see! I told you RL was going to start majorly interfering with the writing and you can see I wasn't just whistling Dixie :) But a few days ago I finally got some free time and I am now on track for postings in a few stories. At least one more tonight if I can continue to avoid spending any quality time with my family. Fingers crossed!

This is the end here. I know I indicated last time probably two more chapters but the thought I had on the in-between, as I considered it, I realized it wouldn't be logical so I changed things up a bit. I'll explain more at the end on that.

The prompt again sets the tone for the chapter, and this one is from the other forum, new picks for November so it's not up yet. And if you like the TV Forum, please do check out the Story Title one, for some reason it's like the Cinderella of the prompts world, but I do promise that it doesn't blow :)

**Side Note**: Thanksgiving prompts were posted today in the forums.

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Story Title Forum – Prompt Set #7**

Author: Susan Beth Pfeffer

Title Challenge: Life As We Knew It

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Life As We Knew It**

JJ stood out in the hallway with her hand in the air.

She was poised to knock. She had been poised to knock for at least the last two and a half minutes. And though she knows that she needs to drop her knuckles down and rap on the door . . . she doesn't.

She waits.

For what she doesn't know. Something. A sign maybe that her decision to be standing in front of this door at this hour of the morning is the right thing to do. That she's not making the same impulsive mistake that she had feared making a mere seven and a half hours earlier.

Though seven and a half hours is quite a long time when you've done nothing but sit and think about your life. Really . . . she tries to reassure herself . . . when looked at in that light, seven and a half hours is an eternity.

Still though, she worries . . . and so she waits. Because what she's about to do can't be undone. And admittedly the ridiculously early hour is perhaps part of the reason behind her hesitation. As she obsessively checks her watch for the tenth time since her arrival thirty minutes ago, JJ sees that it's still, for all intents, the middle of the night. Four fifty-eight in the morning is far too early to be visiting anyone anywhere for anything less than a true emergency. And though her stomach is twisting and her heart is pounding, she knows that she's in no mortal danger. So she really should wait, wait until at least the sun comes up.

For just a second a small bit of the tension in her gut releases . . . her reasoning is sound. She should definitely wait until a more reasonable hour. Maybe go get some coffee and come back at six.

Or seven.

Yeah, seven would be good. Seven would be perfect . . . her hand falls back to her side as she nods to herself . . . so she'll just go find a coffee shop and she'll just sit there until . . . and then suddenly the thought is cut off with one word.

Coward.

And her eyes start to burn as her hand curls into a fist . . . she's using the time as an excuse. She knows that the real reason that she can't bring herself to wake Hotch from his slumber is that she's terrified. Terrified that she's about to make a complete ass out of herself. Terrified that Emily got it wrong and that Hotch has no feelings for her beyond familial love.

Terrified that he thinks of her as just a friend.

Just a friend and nothing more.

And if all of that is true . . . the tears start to pool as she turns away from the door . . . then what is she going to do then? She's already left Will. Well . . . she feels a wave of bitter shame . . . kind of.

He just doesn't know it yet.

When he got home from the bar she had pretended to have fallen asleep on the couch while watching TV. And she'd done that because she'd known that after telling him she had a migraine that he'd leave her there undisturbed.

And he had.

After he'd whispered, "baby, you sleepin'?" and her giving him no response, she had felt him press his lips to her cheek. And then he'd brushed her hair back and pulled the afghan up around her shoulders as he murmured, "'night beautiful."

It had taken everything in her to hold back the tears until his footsteps had faded away.

It wasn't until she heard the creak of the third stair that she'd begun to cry again. Somehow in that moment, that simple everyday snippet of time when he'd come in to say good night, she finally had her definitive answer.

He wasn't the one.

All the questions that she'd been torturing herself with for those two hours she was home with just the baby sleeping upstairs, had boiled down to that one moment. That moment that was an echo following from hundreds of days before it. Because she'd then pictured that echo following her through time, following her for another forty or fifty years. Forty or fifty years of goodnight kisses.

Now _that_ was truly an eternity.

And though it pained her to admit it even to herself, she didn't want those kisses to be from Will. She wanted those goodnight kisses to be from someone else. The someone else whose door she was standing in front of right now at this ridiculous hour.

Hotch.

Of course she knew how wrong it was to have a conversation with this man before she had a conversation with the other. But . . . a tear slid down her face . . . she didn't know what else to do. Right now she felt lost . . . another tear fell . . . adrift. Her life as she'd known it before was over. No matter what happened with Hotch, her relationship with Will couldn't continue as it was. But she couldn't just go home and clean out the medicine cabinet and leave him a note. They had a child together.

They had a life together.

And the conversation that she needed to have with him was going to be hell. And she honestly didn't know if she had the strength for that conversation until she knew for sure that she had a warm place to go when it was done. So here she was.

A terrified single mother on the brink of a beginning a whole new life.

Maybe.

It would depend on whether or not Emily had been right. If Hotch really was in love with her. And if he was, did he really want to be with her. There were rules and policies and so many things standing in their way.

Being with Hotch would be hard, but as her heart started to ache at the thought of leaving, she knew then that being without him would be harder still. And with that realization she finally shook off her yellow streak and brought her fist back up again.

She knocked three times, then she waited for ten seconds and did it again.

Just as she was about to raise her arm a third time, she heard footsteps. And a second later the door opened and she saw the man of the hour standing in front of her. His hair was mussed up.

She'd never seen his hair mussed up before.

"JJ?"

She watched as his confusion morphed to astonishment. And when she heard the shock in his sleepy voice, her eyes immediately fell away from his. Now that the door was open her fear had come roaring back with a vengeance.

_Oh God what was she doing? What if she was making a complete fool of herself?_

_How could she ever look him in the eye again?_

Though she knew that she needed to say something to him, to explain what the hell she was doing there in the middle of the night, every question that had just shot through her forebrain was pushing her to the brink of utter panic. "Um," was all that would come out of her mouth. And all of her fears about making a complete fool of herself began to come true. So she just stood there with cotton in her throat as her cheeks burned and her gaze fell down from the white t-shirt that she'd been staring at for the last twenty seconds. As JJ's eyes hit the floor she saw that Hotch's feet were bare. And as her gaze slowly began to work its way up and over his blue FBI sweatpants with the gold lettering, she saw the Glock in his hand.

It was hanging loosely by his left thigh.

And seeing that his feet were bare and that he'd picked up his gun to answer the door, JJ was finally able to swallow over the lump in her throat. Because for the first time in her life . . . Hotch seemed vulnerable to her.

And that vulnerability . . . real or imagined . . . made her feel like perhaps they were on even ground. And as she saw his free hand come up to touch his mouth . . . a nervous twitch of his . . . she took a breath.

And she jumped off the cliff.

Before his hand reached his face, her small fingers closed around his larger ones. And then her eyes snapped up to his face. Though she could feel the tension in his grip, a sad smile touched her lips when she saw the expression on his face.

He was terrified too.

But as she took a step closer she saw that the fear began to mix with another emotion.

Hope.

It was faint, but she was sure that was what it was. And seeing his reaction to her presence, JJ's own fears began to recede ever so slightly . . . at least she wasn't out on this limb alone.

Still though, she couldn't say that she was happy in that moment either. Because though she knew that hope meant that Emily had been right, he did have feelings for her, now she wondered yet again, how long had he felt this way? How long had she been blind to what had been right in front of her?

How much of her life had she spent with the wrong man?

She knew that these were terrible questions, ones whose answers were probably going to cause her more pain. But she couldn't stop herself from asking them. So she took a step closer to him, watching as his entire body froze up and his mask came crashing down.

He was pulling away from her.

So keeping her eyes locked on his, JJ dropped Hotch's hand and reached up to cup his jaw instead.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

JJ's words were broken and filled with despair. And though Hotch knew exactly what it was she was asking, his mind which only moments ago had been in the midst of a wonderful dream involving JJ and Jack and Henry, was now racing in a blind panic.

He needed a moment to think.

So he said nothing in return as he tried to ignore the warm fingers pressing against his skin. And as he'd been doing for just over a year now, he kept his true emotions masked as he stared down at her beautiful face.

It was the only way to get through this moment with his heart intact.

They were on a precipice, and if he chose to jump he could . . . he could tell her everything. That she was the light in his day, that he wanted no other. That he often pictured what her blonde hair would look like spilled across his pillow. That he often . . . as he did tonight . . . dreamed that Jack and Henry would grow up as brothers.

And that they would have a sister with dimples and golden curls.

His heart was aching to tell her all of those things and a thousand more. But as he saw her looking up at him in sadness and confusion the next thing he noticed etched on her lovely features caused him concern. It was her clear exhaustion.

Tension and exhaustion.

It was clear that she hadn't slept. And that realization was a dagger in his chest. Because if Emily had been right, and JJ really felt the same way about him as he did about her, then how much thinking would she have really had to do? Because if somebody had told him that the woman he was in love with just so happened to be in love with him too, well . . . his stomach began to churn . . . that wouldn't have been news he'd had to stew over for hours.

He would have been at her house in a shot.

Yes, he understood that she was in a relationship . . . but they weren't married. She wasn't choosing to break her vows or sever a legal commitment, so she could have come to him right away.

At least to talk.

So most likely she was simply up all night stressed and worrying about what was going to happen at work. That she was going to walk into the office and he was going to do something ridiculous like declare his intentions.

Not that he would ever do something so insane, but he could see how the fear would be there. And how uncomfortable she would be worrying about her boss making (unwanted) advances on her.

So most likely . . . he felt another dagger . . . she was just here now to get all of this crap out of the way. To tell him thanks but no thanks, she was happy with Will and wasn't looking for any additional suitors.

Okay . . . he took a shallow breath . . . so he'd save them both the trauma of an incredibly awkward let down by simply lying through his teeth. He felt his decision was sound, but he just didn't have it in him to look her in the eyes as he did it.

It would hurt too much.

So his gaze slid to a point over her shoulder.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

To his own ears his voice sounded a bit too gruff . . . a bit too sharp. But that was perhaps because he was dying inside. He just wanted JJ to go away now so that he could crawl back into bed and wake up Emily. And then he could cuddle her close and she would run her fingers through his hair and tell him the sweet little lie that she always did when she knew his heart was breaking.

That everything would be all right.

And perhaps if he was lucky, he could close his eyes and he would get his dream back again. And perhaps for just a few minutes hidden away under the covers with the other woman in life . . . things really would be all right.

As far as he was concerned that was the best case scenario for the remaining hour of darkness.

But unfortunately JJ seemed to have other plans for him. And before he knew what was happening, she'd pushed him back into his shadowy apartment and shut the door behind her.

Though he still refused to look at her face, it was clear that regardless of his feelings on the topic of superfluously breaking his heart, she apparently wanted to have this conversation anyway.

Well . . . he bit down on the inside of his cheek . . . that was just not happening.

The only light in the apartment was coming from the lamp by the window, but it was enough for JJ to see Hotch clearly. And she could see that his jaw was twitching as his eyes remained fixed over her shoulder. And then his right hand clenched into a fist right before he murmured.

"I think you should go home now JJ," he paused for two beats before his gaze finally snapped back down to hers. And he stared at her for a moment, a moment that seemed to go on forever, before adding softly, "there's nothing for you here. There's nothing to discuss."

Though JJ believed Hotch's words to be a lie . . . his eyes had begun to glisten . . . the words still hurt. She knew though that his default was to hide his feelings and create emotional distance. But she had to break down that wall because she couldn't leave this place until she did. Her whole world was in shambles. She didn't want to marry the man sleeping in her bed. She wanted this man in her bed instead.

So why was he being so cruel?

But then she remembered that Hotch didn't know yet why she was there. He could be thinking that she had come over to brush him off. To tell him now that she wasn't interested when she could be assured of complete privacy, rather than waiting until later when they were at work. She could see him having a thought like that. She could see that very easily. Especially because he didn't know yet that she'd already jumped off the cliff.

And she didn't know yet if he would catch her. So she kept right on talking as though he hadn't asked her to go.

There was no other option.

"Please Hotch," her voice started to quiver as she pleaded with him, "_please_ don't push me away. I need for you to talk to me. I need for you to tell me that Emily was right. And I need for you to tell me that because I'm standing in your apartment at five o'clock in the morning." A tear ran down her face as her voice cracked, "and you must know that means something. So please Hotch, please tell me that means something to you," she started to cry, "because it means something to me. And I can't go home," her voice cracked, "because I've spent all night thinking about my life, and I know now that I don't have a home to go to anymore!"

Her voice reached a pitch at the end and her hand came up to clamp over her mouth. And then she turned away as her body was unexpectedly wracked with sobs.

As the seconds ticked passed with only her muffled cries filling the apartment, JJ realized that Hotch wasn't going to catch her . . . this wasn't going to be her safe place.

She'd just hit the rocks.

So she tried to muster up some dignity as she wiped her hand across her face and took a heaving breath. And then she started to move towards the door.

It was well passed time for her to go.

But then she heard one word came out of the shadows.

"Wait."

And she froze, praying to God that the next words out of his mouth were going to be the ones that she needed to hear. If they weren't then she was definitely going to have to put in for a transfer.

Hotch's heart was twisting with grief. The woman that he adored was crying, she was in pain . . . and it was all his fault. And given what she'd just said to him about her life, the little spark of hope that he'd been trying to douse since she arrived at his door had started to flicker again.

The warmth from that flame was enough to break his stance and he put his gun down on the end table. And then he tentatively reached out and did something that he'd wanted to do for months now.

Touch her.

His fingers grazed her shoulder, feeling the rough cotton of her t-shirt. And then they slid down her sleeve until the tips brushed over the warmth of her bare arm and down to capture her fingers.

He squeezed.

"I'm sorry," he whispered softly, "please don't cry. And please don't leave like this. If you want to talk we can talk." She turned to look at him and seeing the tears still running, his heart twisted again as he reached out to brush them away.

"I just figured I already knew what you wanted to say." His tone was soft, but as she turned her cheek into his hand, his voice faded further.

"But maybe I didn't know what you wanted to say," he finished on a whisper. And seeing JJ's eyes brighten slightly, Hotch took a breath and threw his future into the wind.

"Emily was right," he cleared his throat as he stared into the watery blue depths, "what she said was . . . correct. And your other question," he gave her a sad smile, "thirteen months, three weeks and four days."

Seeing the clear surprise on JJ's face, Hotch immediately shook his head. "But I don't want you to feel uncomfortable about that. These are my feelings, and I don't expect you to reciprocate them. You just tell me what you want and I'll respect your wishes," his hand dropped to his side as he swallowed over the lump in his throat. "You say the word and this all ends tonight . . . we'll never talk about it again."

The words were still hanging in the air when Hotch suddenly felt JJ's lips pressed against his. They were warm and soft and he was filled with an indescribable joy. And then he was leaning down and he was kissing her back.

The kiss was soft and tentative and there was still a chaste distance between them, but that didn't diminish the happiness in his heart . . . his feelings were most definitely reciprocated!

Halefreakinglujah!

After almost a minute they slowly separated. As Hotch pulled back he ran his tongue over his upper lip, tasting the faint remnants of the strawberry Chapstick that JJ put on ten times a day.

It tasted wonderful.

And as he looked down at the woman wearing it, he was waiting on pins and needles to see what she would say now that the moment was over.

JJ's heart was racing as she stared up at Hotch . . . that was the kiss that she'd been looking for earlier tonight. That was the kiss that she wanted for the next fifty years. And though she knew that she couldn't have another one until she had that conversation with Will . . . a soft smile touched her lips . . . that was okay.

That one was good enough to tide her over.

Now feeling more emboldened, JJ stepped forward and leaned against Hotch's chest. And as her head settled on his t-shirt, she smiled as his arms came up to wrap around her.

His hugging was almost as good as his kissing.

She snuggled against him, breathing him in as she never had before. It was new . . . yet familiar. And then she whispered against the soft cotton.

"I don't want this to end tonight. I want that to be my goodnight kiss for a very long time. And I want to see you in bare feet with mussed up hair and wrinkled pajamas. And I want you to sometimes bring me breakfast in bed just because and sometimes I'll do that for you for just the same reason," she tipped her back to look up at him, "those are my wishes on this matter," her brow quirked up slightly, "will you respect them?"

Hotch's mouth quivered slightly as he felt another wave of happiness wash over him.

Thank God he'd heard the knock on the door.

"Yes," he gently tucked JJ's small frame back again his body, "yes, I will," he whispered back.

"Okay then," JJ sighed as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, "that sounds like a solid plan to me." "Me too," Hotch murmured against her hair. And though he knew that they had other things to talk about . . . big things like work and Will and their children . . . he knew that could all wait for a little bit. So he stood there, just holding her as he watched the grey light slowly creeping around the blinds.

After a few minutes he heard JJ whisper, "remind me to thank Emily for having such a big mouth," and his eyes popped.

EMILY! OH SHIT!

His eyes snapped over to the entrance to the short hallway . . . Emily was sleeping in his bed! And the more minutes that ticked passed, the closer they were coming to the time when his alarm clock was going to go off. He usually got up at five thirty to go for a run. And when five thirty rolled around and Emily woke up to find his side of the mattress was cold, she was going to get worried and immediately come looking for him.

And oh Christ . . . he winced . . . she wasn't wearing any pants.

His gaze shifted back down to JJ's blonde tresses . . . and this moment probably wasn't the best one to let his new, whatever JJ was, find out about his half naked sleeping arrangements with her very attractive friend/co-worker. Especially given what had happened last night and the big fight that the two of them had had. JJ might jump to COMPLETELY the wrong conclusion and assume that he and Emily had sex. Comfort sex or revenge sex or whatever you wanted to call it, it was going to look REALLY bad! So in an effort to prevent a so far unexpectedly wonderful morning from taking a very bad turn, Hotch schooled his features and then rubbed his hand down JJ's back.

"Though it would be very nice to stay here with you all morning, unfortunately time's passing and it is a work day," When she tipped her head back his eyebrow rose slightly, "and as the sun's almost up I'm thinking that you probably need to go home and change, yes?"

'_Please say yes, please don't say you have a suit in the car,'_ he prayed in his head.

A little wrinkle set in JJ's brow as she looked over at the white light now spilling freely into the small living room.

"You're right," she bit her lip as she looked up at him again. "I do need to go home. I have to um," she cleared her throat, "well, I need to talk to Will and I really need to do that this morning. I know it's a crappy conversation to have with somebody right before they go to work, but now that you and I have talked if I don't tell him right away what's happening then," her eyes started to get moist, "well, it'll feel like I'm cheating on him. And I don't want to do that. He's been good to me, and he's so good with Henry, I can't let things end that badly," she sniffled to try to get her emotions back under control, "um, so if you don't mind maybe I'll take a little comp time this morning and try to get things with him, uh . . . squared away."

Seeing the tears hovering again, Hotch's expression softened as his hand came up to brush down her cheek. "Of course JJ. Whatever you need to do is fine with me. And if you and Henry need a place to stay for the weekend I have Jack's room," a smile ghosted over his lips, "and given that I'll have a four year old in my bed and you'll have a fourteen month old in yours, I can promise that I will be a gentleman. Just houseguests, nothing more." He brushed her hair back behind her ear, "we can sort out, um," he tipped his head, "other things at a later date, okay?"

He didn't want her to feel any pressure. She was getting out of a long term relationship, and regardless of her feelings for him . . . and he was thrilled beyond measure that she indeed _had _feelings for him . . . he also knew that she had feelings for Will too. How could she not? He was the father of her child, the man whose bed she'd been sharing for over two years. And he knew from the demise of his relationship with Haley that just because it's time to move on, it doesn't mean that you can simply leave all that baggage behind. Those feelings weren't going to fade away over night. She was going to need a little time, a little time and probably a shoulder to cry on occasionally.

And he could be that shoulder for her until she was ready for more.

Hearing Hotch's proposal, JJ felt her sadness get pushed back by a wave of love and affection for him. And though she knew that she had just placed a moratorium on such things, she couldn't stop herself from leaning up to press one more quick kiss to his lips.

It wasn't so much a romantic kiss as simply a thank you.

Just a thank you for being a really good guy.

As she pulled back a second later she nodded. "Okay, that sounds good. And that would be nice if we could stay here this weekend. I'm hoping that this conversation with Will doesn't go too badly but um," she shook her head, "either way I know this is going to come out of the blue for him. So obviously I want to give him some space to think and it doesn't seem right to uh," her voice started to get husky, "break up with him and then kick him out of the house." She cleared her throat, "it seems cruel actually. So I'll tell him that Henry and I will get out for the weekend and then he and I can talk again on Sunday and figure out what we're going to do about, well," she sighed, "everything."

They might not be married, but both of their names were on the rental lease and somebody was going to have to move. Also most of the furniture they'd bought together so they had to decide what to do about that. Not to mention, they were listed on each other's car insurance, as each other's emergency contacts and as death beneficiaries. They also shared a household bank account for rent and utilities and baby stuff. They each still had personal checking accounts too, but still . . . they had a lot of things to sort out. And then there was the most important thing to sort out.

Henry. They'd need to work out visitation. There were going to be days when she wouldn't get to see her baby at all.

Really . . . her eyes started to water again . . . it was going to be a mess.

But as Hotch pulled her back to his chest again she remembered that she would have a light with her during the darker days ahead. He would help her get through all of this. So she took a moment to preserve this memory of him in her mind . . . she'd need it later this morning . . . and then she pulled away with true regret.

"I have to go now," she reached up to cup his jaw, "I should hopefully be in by ten at the latest, but I'll call you if something happens."

"You call me either way as soon as you're done," Hotch whispered back as his hand covered hers, "I'll come pick you up and we can talk before you come into the office, okay?"

Her eyes started to fill again as she nodded.

"Okay."

And then she turned towards the door before she gave in to temptation and either started crying again or decided to kiss him again.

Or both.

Tonight she could do those things. Not that she wanted to cry again but she most definitely wanted to kiss him again and cuddle up on the couch. And she could do that after the boys were in bed.

Until then it wasn't allowed. So she let herself be satisfied with one last hug before she reluctantly pulled away from him. Then she opened the door and stepped into the hall.

She turned back.

"So I'll call you when it's done." And he nodded back definitively, "absolutely. No meetings this morning so I'll be in my office or the bullpen. Just call my cell."

"Right."

For a second they stood staring at one another, him on side of the doorway, her on the other. And he so badly wanted to say it out loud.

'_I love you, and I promise that you won't regret your decisions today. We'll make this work.'_

But he knew that it was too soon for declarations like that. So instead he picked up her hand again and kissed the back of her knuckles. Then he brought his other hand up in a fist and tapped it on his heart.

"We'll work everything out," he whispered, "I'll stay with you for all the hard stuff. I promise." And her face brightened as she nodded back with a watery smile, "thank you." Then she pressed a kiss to her fingers and brought her hand up to his lips. After that final act she turned and walked away, her heels echoing in the still empty corridor.

Hotch watched her go to the end of the hall and then turn back to wave before she disappeared into the alcove. For a moment he considered following after her, making sure that she got to her car okay. But then he remembered that it was light out, and that he had felt her gun in the back waistband of her jeans.

She'd be fine.

So he shut the door and set the deadbolt. Then he turned back to the living room and blinked when he saw Emily standing in the kitchen watching him.

She had a huge grin on her face.

"I told you!" She announced triumphantly as she crossed the room, "did I or did I not tell you that it would all work out?"

She'd woken up a few minutes ago to go to the bathroom. When she saw that Hotch was gone . . . long gone, his side of the bed was cold . . . she'd stepped into the hall to find him. But then she'd heard whispering and poked her head around the corner to see him and JJ in a clinch. She'd realized that her presence would most definitely _not_ be welcome right then. But she was afraid to go back to the bedroom either because she didn't want to make any noise to alert them to her presence. So basically for the last three or four minutes she'd just been standing in the hallway with her hands over her ears trying not to eavesdrop. Then she heard the door click and realized it was safe to come out.

Hotch's lips started to twitch as Emily walked up to him . . . still not wearing any pants of course . . . and then he nodded.

"Yes," he tipped his head, "fine, I admit it, you were right," he rolled his eyes, "I was wrong. You're the queen for the day."

Emily raised a smug eyebrow as she poked him in the chest, "I'm going to remind you of this fact the next time you go all morose cave man on me. For all the shit we do, you know that the world owes us more than one favor, and sometimes it actually does pay off it's debts." She smiled softly, "and now I have Rick and you have JJ, and we can all be happy, right?"

"Right," Hotch's eyes crinkled as he nodded, "we can all be happy."

'_For today anyway,' _he added to himself. But then he realized he was letting the darker thoughts back again. And he didn't want to go all 'morose cave man' as Emily had just said, no for just a few minutes he just wanted to be happy.

It was a refreshing change.

And knowing who was responsible for the happiness he was feeling now, a wave of affection washed over him for the smiling woman in front of him. So he leaned down and picked her up. And as her arms looped around his neck, he squeezed her tightly against his chest.

"Thank you for having a bad temper and a big mouth," he whispered in her ear. And she started to chuckle right before she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"You're welcome."

_

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A/N 2: And we're done . . . for now. I'm definitely considering this story closed but I really do want to follow up in this world to see JJ and Hotch trying to meld their little families together with the awkwardness of how things will be with Will. Plus the transitions that will be necessary in Hotch's physical interactions with Emily. As I said previously, you can't be in a committed relationship with one person and still sleeping half naked in bed with another. Things will have to change. So for now we'll leave everyone at a projected (eventual) happily ever after, but I'll pick up with them a bit later to follow them through a the ending. Initially I had planned to bring them to work the next day and not having the 'JJ shows up in the middle of the night' convo until the next day. But as I was putting myself in her place I realized that there was just no way that I could go into the office and pretend like everything was just totally hunky dory for ten hours. It would have been torture. And initially I thought, good place to write some awkward pauses! But then it just seemed like 8 hours alone in her own head, she was going to get to the point where she'd know what she wanted. And then why would she want to torture herself further by spending the day with him knowing that she had all these questions for him. It's not like she could corner him in the bullpen for some answers. Really it's been my experience that it's best to make an ass out of yourself with as few witnesses as possible :)_

_And if you enjoyed this story, shameless plug here, it is up for a CM FanFic award as Best JJ/Hotch :) Thank you so much to whoever nominated me! So if you'd like to vote, and you haven't already, links to the ballots are on my profile page__._

_Another update on a different story. It's also JJ focused and it'll be up a little later._

_As always thanks for the feedback, as you can probably tell from the lack of postings, I've had little time to spend on this part of my life, but as always it's appreciated, and it does remind me that there are people out there that are actually waiting to see what happens in all these fanciful little worlds. Sometimes that's enough to get my brain to carve out a few minutes to focus on the fake lives as opposed to the real one :)_


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